


break me down

by calarinanis



Series: a tale as old as time [7]
Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Drabble, F/M, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Jon Snow and Sansa Stark Are Not Related, References to Depression
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-16
Updated: 2020-05-16
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:34:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 515
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24212974
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/calarinanis/pseuds/calarinanis
Summary: Sansa Stark is struggling after losing her whole family, it's only because of Jon Snow that she's still able to function. Jonsa Drabble Fest May 2020.
Relationships: Jon Snow/Sansa Stark
Series: a tale as old as time [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1739434
Comments: 6
Kudos: 47
Collections: Jon x Sansa Drabble





	break me down

Sadness is squeezing her throat with its claws, choking her until she could breathe no more. The ache in her head is growing, making itself known by the erratic pounding against her left temple. Frustrated tears make their way free of their constraints, hot against her cold cheeks and so acidic she feels her stomach churn as if it too cannot bear anymore. 

She wishes she was numb. 

The problem with perfection is not that it cannot be achieved. It is how far you will go to achieve it no matter the cost. The problem with expectation is not that it is a benchmark for guidance but rather a burden carried heavily upon delicate shoulders. 

“Sansa!” She hears the panicked shout of Jon, her darling Jon, who has witnessed this all too many times and is there holding her against his chest, whispering words to calm her down as if she were a horse about to bolt. 

Grey eyes peer at her worriedly with none of their usual mischief. “Jon.” She takes a deep breath in and tries to focus herself on the feel of his warm skin pressed against her own. She remembers the razor held in her hand and drops it with a start. It falls to the floor with the tiniest of clatter and yet it stares at her with such malevolence. 

“Aye, I’m here, love.” He gives her a once over and is satisfied with what he sees. She is shaken up but she has not hurt herself this time. “I’m here, Sansa.” He says her name with a softness reserved only for these moments. 

The moments where she comes so close to losing herself. 

They had lost so much together and yet it is only her who presents the public with such a perfect facade of acceptable grief whilst Jon openly sheds tears at her side. They call her cold. They do not see how in private she can barely hold herself together and it is Jon who brings her back to the centre. 

“I’m sorry, Jon.” She flings her arms around him, grateful for him, and crying tears that were softer than before turning his white t-shirt translucent. 

He sees the dress lying discarded on the floor. Arya’s dress. He tenderly kisses her forehead knowing that was the trigger for her actions and yet feeling a lump grow in his own throat. “Come here, Sans, it’s okay.” 

Slowly, her breathing returns to normal and her mind begins to clear of all the heartache and she feels happier again. 

Yet, she would break again and again in the coming year. Holding herself responsible for surviving whilst her whole family perished in a terrible fire. She had been staying with Jon at the time. 

The pain would rise within her heart again many times in the coming year. She would have days of pure sunshine and days of the bitterest rain. Days where she could not move and days where she would dance. 

But, Jon would remain by her side carefully holding her hand until she could once again stand tall.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!


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